The Difference Between Cats & Dogs: We HATE Dook

Did you know that the UNC vs. Duke game is today? I did. Do you want to know why I know? Because every year, during rivalry week, we have to review all of the reasons why ~~Duke~~ Dook sucks. Apparently there are a lot of them. It has been extra intense this year because Dooley is here. Dooley has not yet had his first UNC vs. Dook game and therefore needs to learn all of the reasons that Dook sucks, even if they are reasons that Jason has already covered with Mr. Bojangles and myself.

We are forced to watch documentaries. We are forced to watch countless YouTube compilations. We are forced to watch previous games. We are forced to recite all of the ways in which Coach K resembles and acts like a rat. We are forced to sing fight songs and alma maters. We are forced to chant. As Roy Williams prepares his team with lay up drills, sprints, and game films. Jason prepares his team with quizzes, stories, and coincidentally game films. The team trains. We train.

And truth be told? I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE the UNC vs. Dook game. It is stressful. Jason gets super crazy. He cusses. He laughs this evil, high pitched, nasty sounding laugh that makes my skin crawl. He talks to the team and he yells at Coach K. The world literally feels like it is going to end at any given moment. And truth be told? I am extra worried about this year. Both Carolina and Dook have won some big games and they have lost some big games. I feel like there are going to be lots of turn overs. Turn overs are not good for Jason's blood pressure, and therefore are not good for our blood pressures. It is intense. It is not enjoyable. If it were up to me I would hide in my bedroom, but I am not allowed we all have to watch the game. Don't be fooled this is not some sort of fun family activity...It is like some weird sort of punishment.

I had this AWESOME idea.

I was going to be the best wife ever.

All the North Carolina family was going to love me.

..and instead? we got D.R.A.M.A.

So what was this AWESOME idea, you want to know?

Well I saw this picture on the internet:

And I decided because Dooley is way cuter than this dog I would create a sign that degrades Dook, I would hang it around his neck, I would get the cat, put the dog and cat in front of a blue background and snap their little picture. (And yes. As I type this I recognize that this idea was bonkers. But it sounded good at the time.)

It was going to be awesome. Dooley's blonde hair looks so good against Carolina blue. He has the Carolina blue collar. Carolina blue is the same color as Mr. Bojangles' eyes. This was going to be the best picture ever taken. Jason and all his family members would log on to the blog and LOVE what they saw. They would start calling each other to ask, "Did you see Caitlin's blog today?!" They would all want a copy so they could frame it and put it on their desks at work.

Did we get the most perfect photo ever?

Obviously not.

Otherwise you wouldn't be reading this long blog post, you would be looking at the cutest anti-Dook picture ever.

So instead of the most perfect photo shoot ever this is what we got:

I make the sign (looking good). Tape it to Dooley's collar. This is where it starts to do downhill. Dooley is completely freaked out by the paper hanging from his collar. His listening skills automatically go out the window. I am pushing his butt down, as he apparently has forgotten how to sit. I am pushing him backwards, as he apparently has forgotten how to stay. I chase down the cat and put him in place. I move back to snap the picture. The cat runs. I yell at the cat. The dog freaks out and starts to run. He hears the papers crumpling around his neck and gets scared again. I yell at the dog (because I said STAY and we obviously weren't staying). I reposition the dog: push the butt down. Yell. Threaten his life. I get the cat. I put him in place... Tell him to stay. Threaten his life. I move back to snap the picture. The cat runs. I Yell. The dog runs.

Now I am sweating.

And I am mad. Mostly at the cat. But also at the dog.

But not at myself for coming up with this crazy idea and forcing it on these poor animals.

So, the cat is running through the house. I am chasing the cat and yelling, "JANGLES!" The dog is chasing me. The paper is still taped to his collar making a smack!, smack!, smack!, smack! sound every time one of his legs move. I catch the cat. I get call the dog. I position the dog. I put the cat down. I move backward to take the photo and the cat runs. He is RUNNING like LIGHTENING. He is in full on stealth mode. He is running and hiding and wanting NO PART of this picture.

Are you picturing this? Yeah. I am stupid. I know.

So the cat wins. He doesn't have to be in the picture. (For as much as this cat didn't want to be in this picture, he MIGHT be a Dookie.) Dooley loses, because he is a dog and required by dog-law to listen. He double loses because he is my dog. And therefore he will be forced to participate in all my hair-brained schemes.

All in all I still like my hair-brained scheme. I just wish I had a better dog and a better cat for execution purposes. So without further ado... Dook Sucks, Dooley and Mr. Bojangles style:

Dooley is sticking his tongue out at Dook.